his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
