one two three fourrrrnication!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
