Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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