what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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