hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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