What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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