note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize