so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize