im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
