Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
