So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize