my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think my vagina is haunted
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
