I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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