She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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