I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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