Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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