she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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