I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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