she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
His hands were made for my vagina.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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