I'm going to jail i love you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
