i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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