I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
