Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
