Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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