she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
