Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
3 2 1 whiskey
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
