And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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