can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize