Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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