Cold hands, warm shart.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
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It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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