I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
