if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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