Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
