My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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