I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
