bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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