u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
