Already got asked if we're dating
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
