So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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