Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
