I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
third nipple confirmed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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