She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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