I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
