Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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