How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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