I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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