i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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