I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
