Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize