Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
