i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
