sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
