It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm too high and old for this...
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