Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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