Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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