Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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