We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
