So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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