one two three fourrrrnication!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
