Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
