I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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