She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
