on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
