So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
