Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
