I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This house was built for laser tag.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
